It's Been 10 Years...

It's been 10 years this month since I came home from my mission. I served in the California San Fernando Spanish Speaking Mission. 

I love my mission. 

But I will say that my mission was hard. But easier than some missions, for sure! 

I had lots of awesome days, and lots of really, really hard days. 

I gained a lot of weight (I'm sure you already noticed from the second picture, and that isn't even at the end of my mission!). But I made tons of awesome relationships and gained a strong testimony of the gospel. I am so, so grateful that I got to serve the Lord full time for those 18 1/2 months!

One of the things I love about Jonathan is that he loves that I served a mission. He says that is one of the first things that attracted him to me. And I am so glad he was attracted! :) 

If my girls choose to go on a mission, I will be so happy for them. I know they will struggle, but they will come to love the Lord and His gospel in the process. 

It is one of the greatest honors of my life that I was able to serve the Lord and His children as a missionary. And now Jonathan and I talk about our missions that we will serve together. 

I already know it will be awesome!

Valentine's Day 2012

We have had such a fun day today! I decided to blog about it right away while it's still fresh in my mind (and so that it happens).  

We started out with the Valentine's Day party at the preschool. Janie was invited as a special treat for her efforts in the bathroom. She was the only sibling invited and I got to go to be the Mom helper. It was a fun treat for all of us.

The teacher is super creative and fun. They played a game with hearts, where they ran races. They ran to a chair, rang the bell, and put a valentine under the chair and raced back.

Jonathan started a 30 hour ICU shift on Monday and so came home at noon today. He took a three hour nap, then got up to party with us. (I honestly don't know how he does it. He's amazing!)

So we decorated sugar cookies together.

I made a special Valentine's Day book for Jonathan. The girls saw me working on it and loved it. So I decided to make a little book for them.  It was already made (by someone else), I just added the pictures and words and put it together. When I read it to them I saw typos, which is always a bummer, but it's the thought  (and effort) that counts. Hopefully this will be special for them.

For dinner on Valentine's day, I usually give the girls something is easy, like mac 'n cheese, and when they go to bed, J and I have a romantic dinner. I decided to include the girls this year, thus taking out all the romance, but hopefully making it fun for the girls.  I love how the tablecloth is totally lopsided. You can't see the lit candle, but it is there.

Jonathan was so sweet (and tired) but he insisted on doing all the dishes and cleaning the kitchen for me. I am so blessed to have him for my valentine! He proposed on Valentine's Day 8 years ago. My life has been incredibly blessed since that day.

Happy Valentine's Day!

My Fertility Issues

I hope this post doesn't make anyone uncomfortable. I don't mean it to. If it does make you uncomfortable, by all means stop reading. Really. We will still be friends. :)

It's just that I know people have been wondering and this is a big thing in my life right now.

When Janie was 9 months old, we started trying to get pregnant again.

We knew women are most fertile that year after they have had a baby, and we just thought we would have a couple more real quick. And I would be done having babies by the time I was 35.

A year after trying, I started taking progesterone again. 

Then another year passed.

It seemed odd to us that in over 2 years, nothing happened. Given my history, I would expect to get pregnant at least once, maybe miscarry, but I expected at least something.

And in this time I had seen a few nurse practitioners who suggested I might have PCOS, or polycystic ovary syndrome. But I didn't really take that too seriously, because I don't have the symptoms. And I know that there are diagnostic fads that come and go. And they weren't doctors. That last one sounds so snobby, and I apologize about that. We love nurse practitioners for physicals, the flu, infections, stitches, etc. But when it comes to a life changing diagnosis, I kinda want a doctor. (Of course, the fact that I am married to one also influences this. Because I have seen the blood, sweat, and training and he has gone through to get his knowledge base).  

So I couple of months ago, I scheduled to see the doctor. And he said that we needed to get more aggressive and that there was really only one way to see if I had PCOS, and that was an ultrasound. So I got an ultrsound. And I was sure I didn't have it. Because even when I went in for the ultrasound, the tech asked me why I was there. When I told her they were checking me for PCOS, she said "you don't look like you have that." For which I am grateful. Some of the side affects can be quite severe and hard for any woman to deal with.

So I was surprised when the doc called me this week and told me that I do indeed have PCOS. I was upset at first. I cried. And I called my mom. (I would have called Jonathan but he was in the ICU on a 30 hour shift.)

My mom reminded me that it was a blessing to know because now I could be treated.

So now I am on 2 different medications, besides progesterone. I take 2-4 pills a day, depending on the time of the month. Next month, I will go in for more ultrasounds and and HCG shot.

As soon as I had Janie, I felt so strongly that there was another one. And right now, we are determined to get this third one in our family. Whether it's through adoption or through me, I am okay either way. 

But three may be the magic number of kids in our family. I just don't know how many more years I want to go through this. And after all this, three kids is awesome! That is a pretty good size family in my book. 

But if nothing ever happens, and it's just us and Sami and Janie, I would consider myself the most blessed of women. They are such joys, miracles I don't deserve and I am so grateful for them! They are such a comfort to me. 

Despite what I have just said, I am not obsessed with getting pregnant. I know what obsessed is because I was obsessed before Sami came. My girls are such a wonderful distraction, a constant reminder that I am so very, very blessed. I do have days of discouragement, but every time I tuck my girls in at night, I am reminded to be grateful. And I try to focus on that. 

And we will see what happens. This will be an interesting year for our family.