Tonight I was watching Sami eat her dinner and I couldn't help but wonder what she thinks about her little life. She spent a lot of time in time out this afternoon. Once for chasing Janie around, trying to get her snack (that was actually comical-imagine Janie running screaming holding her snack with Sami right behind her, arms out reaching), once for yelling "no" when I told her it was time to go potty, and once for something else...can't remember because it's after 8 pm.
Truth be told, she spends some time in time out almost every day. Sometimes multiple times a day. When we have a hard day, like today, I tend to take it personal, like "if I was teaching her better, she wouldn't act this way." But then Jonathan reminds me that she is two, and she is just testing me. And I have to consistent and it will all be okay. But consistency is hard.
Some moms think I'm strict. And I agree with them. I like to think it's better to fight the little battle than wait until it's a big battle later on. So I try to teach and reinforce the positive and discourage the negative. But some battles aren't worth fighting at all, and that's where it can get tricky for me. And sometimes I just don't want the fight. Some days I do better than others. But what I really want, more than anything, is for the girls to know how loved they are. Sami came up to me the other day and said "Sami good girl. Sami make good choices." I hope she knows that I am so proud of her, and that I will love her no matter what her choices are. She's my little sweetie, my angel girl. I know she doesn't know anything other than her life with us, but I hope the cookie baking and yard sale memories will stand out more than the time-outs. I hope that the one thing she never, ever questions is how loved she is.