My Fertility Issues

I hope this post doesn't make anyone uncomfortable. I don't mean it to. If it does make you uncomfortable, by all means stop reading. Really. We will still be friends. :)

It's just that I know people have been wondering and this is a big thing in my life right now.

When Janie was 9 months old, we started trying to get pregnant again.

We knew women are most fertile that year after they have had a baby, and we just thought we would have a couple more real quick. And I would be done having babies by the time I was 35.

A year after trying, I started taking progesterone again. 

Then another year passed.

It seemed odd to us that in over 2 years, nothing happened. Given my history, I would expect to get pregnant at least once, maybe miscarry, but I expected at least something.

And in this time I had seen a few nurse practitioners who suggested I might have PCOS, or polycystic ovary syndrome. But I didn't really take that too seriously, because I don't have the symptoms. And I know that there are diagnostic fads that come and go. And they weren't doctors. That last one sounds so snobby, and I apologize about that. We love nurse practitioners for physicals, the flu, infections, stitches, etc. But when it comes to a life changing diagnosis, I kinda want a doctor. (Of course, the fact that I am married to one also influences this. Because I have seen the blood, sweat, and training and he has gone through to get his knowledge base).  

So I couple of months ago, I scheduled to see the doctor. And he said that we needed to get more aggressive and that there was really only one way to see if I had PCOS, and that was an ultrasound. So I got an ultrsound. And I was sure I didn't have it. Because even when I went in for the ultrasound, the tech asked me why I was there. When I told her they were checking me for PCOS, she said "you don't look like you have that." For which I am grateful. Some of the side affects can be quite severe and hard for any woman to deal with.

So I was surprised when the doc called me this week and told me that I do indeed have PCOS. I was upset at first. I cried. And I called my mom. (I would have called Jonathan but he was in the ICU on a 30 hour shift.)

My mom reminded me that it was a blessing to know because now I could be treated.

So now I am on 2 different medications, besides progesterone. I take 2-4 pills a day, depending on the time of the month. Next month, I will go in for more ultrasounds and and HCG shot.

As soon as I had Janie, I felt so strongly that there was another one. And right now, we are determined to get this third one in our family. Whether it's through adoption or through me, I am okay either way. 

But three may be the magic number of kids in our family. I just don't know how many more years I want to go through this. And after all this, three kids is awesome! That is a pretty good size family in my book. 

But if nothing ever happens, and it's just us and Sami and Janie, I would consider myself the most blessed of women. They are such joys, miracles I don't deserve and I am so grateful for them! They are such a comfort to me. 

Despite what I have just said, I am not obsessed with getting pregnant. I know what obsessed is because I was obsessed before Sami came. My girls are such a wonderful distraction, a constant reminder that I am so very, very blessed. I do have days of discouragement, but every time I tuck my girls in at night, I am reminded to be grateful. And I try to focus on that. 

And we will see what happens. This will be an interesting year for our family.