Tonight I was watching Sami eat her dinner and I couldn't help but wonder what she thinks about her little life. She spent a lot of time in time out this afternoon. Once for chasing Janie around, trying to get her snack (that was actually comical-imagine Janie running screaming holding her snack with Sami right behind her, arms out reaching), once for yelling "no" when I told her it was time to go potty, and once for something else...can't remember because it's after 8 pm.
Truth be told, she spends some time in time out almost every day. Sometimes multiple times a day. When we have a hard day, like today, I tend to take it personal, like "if I was teaching her better, she wouldn't act this way." But then Jonathan reminds me that she is two, and she is just testing me. And I have to consistent and it will all be okay. But consistency is hard.
Truth be told, she spends some time in time out almost every day. Sometimes multiple times a day. When we have a hard day, like today, I tend to take it personal, like "if I was teaching her better, she wouldn't act this way." But then Jonathan reminds me that she is two, and she is just testing me. And I have to consistent and it will all be okay. But consistency is hard.
Some moms think I'm strict. And I agree with them. I like to think it's better to fight the little battle than wait until it's a big battle later on. So I try to teach and reinforce the positive and discourage the negative. But some battles aren't worth fighting at all, and that's where it can get tricky for me. And sometimes I just don't want the fight. Some days I do better than others. But what I really want, more than anything, is for the girls to know how loved they are. Sami came up to me the other day and said "Sami good girl. Sami make good choices." I hope she knows that I am so proud of her, and that I will love her no matter what her choices are. She's my little sweetie, my angel girl. I know she doesn't know anything other than her life with us, but I hope the cookie baking and yard sale memories will stand out more than the time-outs. I hope that the one thing she never, ever questions is how loved she is.
5 comments:
She will Chrissy. She's two, it's very rare they remember anything at all at this age, but I am certain in her mind she will remember all the fun times she spent with you. Cookie making is a big one for kids, even parents.
Being and staying consistent is the hardest challenge. Each child is completely different in their needs for affection and discipline. (At least in my house) and I have to be a different mom for each kid. I too have been told I am too strict, but I have seen too many obnoxious kids (and parents) who don't do what they should. If I can die and know my kids are good adults, good parents and are compassionate, thoughtful people, then it was worth it all.
You are setting a great example for her.
(when you read this, delete it please, I am getting on a soap box. next time I will send an email.) ☺ Luv ya. You are doing a superb job with your little girls.
You are an amazing Mom! It is part of the parenting process to worry and wonder. But you are doing great. I have never thought of you as strict, but I would take it as a compliment :)
Chrissy- I have found you again! Seriously your link on my blog wouldn't work so I just though you quit blogging, obviously I was WRONG!! I hope all is well with family, look how much the girls are growing!
I feel like we have the entire universe in common, Chrissy! Goodness gracious as I kept reading this I kept going, that's me, that's me, too. Lily spends TONS of time in time out. Usually for hurting Skyler or (my personal favorite) dumping her entire meal on the floor when she doesn't like something on her plate.
One thing that I read recently was when you're about to lose it just say to them, "what are you, 2?" or whatever age they are and it really does reinforce the fact that, yes, they ARE 2. It's been helping me a lot.
Good luck! It really is no mystery why being a parent is the hardest job in the world!
Sounds to me like Sami is very normal and you are also normal (I too was a strict mom). And you're both wonderful, BTW!
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